Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
It’s Christmastime again, and I’m thankful for so many wonderful things in my life. I have a beautiful loving family. I have a warm bed to sleep in every night, and a roof over my head. I know that my next meal will be hearty & healthy (ok, let's face it - it might be pizza, but at least I know that there will be a next meal). I have wonderful friends that make me laugh a ton. I'm very lucky to have a Christmas that can be celebrated not only with lots of delicious food and gifts -- but surrounded with an endless amount of love. There are a lot of people out there that don't have even the love part, and that makes me sad. At the same time it makes me greatful, and very thankful for how fortunate I am, and how wealthy I am when it comes to love. So on that note, here's a picture of Will Ferrell as Buddy the Elf. Because Christmastime makes me smile, and smiling's my favorite! :)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Last night I watched another hilarious Troma movie release entitled "Cannibal! The Musical" -- based on the true story of Alfred Packer. It was written and directed by Trey Parker (co-creator of South Park), so you can only imagine the ridiculousness that ensued.
In the midst of horrible acting and lulls in the story -- there was room for a number of moments where I laughed so hard that it was worth watching. For example, Alfred (played by Trey himself) led the group to a river that they needed to cross. One man wondered how deep the river could be, so Alfred turned, picked up a rock from the riverbed, and tossed it into the water where it made a large splash. Everyone stood staring for a moment, and Alfred said nothing. Eventually the man turned to Alfred and said "well what the fuck was that supposed to do?"
Yeah, that cracked me up.
So if you enjoy really stupid humor, all put to music by one of the minds behind South Park, definitely check out this flick. It's so awful that it's kinda good!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Bettie Page died yesterday at the age of 85. I know that she meant a lot of things to a lot of different people. For me, she was a sexual revolutionary. She wasn't afraid to show off her curves. She basically defined "pin-up", and not only made it beautiful, but made it fun. She came into success out of a life that began with poverty and abuse. She's an icon of our time.
Rest in peace, Miss Page.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Then, as I started packing to move into my new apartment (YAY!!!) -- I realized how much crap it takes to get me through that process. I mean, I don't think of myself as very high maintenance. But I've got a lot of products that I'm not sure I could go without every morning. There's the shampoo & conditioner, the loofah, body wash, comb, blowdryer, straightener, 3 hair products (leave-in conditioner, frizz-smoothing serum, pomade), toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, retainer (don't laugh!!), eyebrow plucker, razor, shaving cream, body lotion, perfume, deodorant.... and that's all just before I leave the bathroom!
While camping I could easily go without all that stuff -- no problemo. I'm kind of wondering how I would do without them though. I don't like to dwell too much on my appearance, but I like to look nice & everything. Hmmm... maybe I should try an experiment to see how much I could cut out of my daily routine and be OK with it. Welll.... maybe when summertime comes around again... ;)
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
1.) Snowboarding season started (hooray!) -- I've only been up once so far, but boy, I love that time o' year.
2.) I'm moving into a new apartment in Denver next weekend! Holy crap!!
3.) It's almost Christmas, and I'm not even close to done with my shopping. However I love Christmastime, so that makes up for things.
4.) I met a boy that I'm crazy about, who's really super sweet, and has been keeping my brain occupied from everything else.... :)
That's all for now! More posts to come (I promise)!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
(Photo Credit - Time Magazine)
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Allright, enough of my ranting. Here's an awesomely hilarious article by Adam Cayton-Holland, a writer for the Westword (local alternative Denver paper) and very funny stand-up comedian. Enjoy!
How Adam Cayton-Holland survived a cougar attack!
By Adam Cayton-Holland
published: October 16, 2008, Denver Westword
From my many interactions with readers, it's quite clear that I'm a working-class hero.
"Let me buy you a drink, What's So Funny," they all say, often in unison or song. "You're a hell of a swell guy, goddamnit, and you put into words what I'm feeling. It makes me feel connected to you, man, like we have this bond."
In such situations I always do the same thing. I graciously accept the offer, order a bottle of Miller High Life, the champagne of beers, and sip it coolly for about thirty seconds while the sycophant in front of me babbles on about some nonsense, usually how much he's always wanted to write. Then, with the sort of split-second quickness typically seen only in ocelots or lynxes, I shatter the bottle on the bar and slice my fan across the neck.
"We don't have any fucking bond!" I scream over the writhing, bloody body. "You don't understand me and you never will!"
What I'm trying to say is, I'm no hero. I do things on a regular basis that appall even me. But at least I don't fuck McCain supporters.
Comedy Works South, Wende Curtis's new club, held its grand opening last week. In addition to not being a hero, I'm also a standup comic and a regular at the downtown Comedy Works — and so I and some of my comedy cohorts got invitations. We dressed as well as we could (clean jeans, button-up shirts), and then headed south to soak up the spanking-new swank atmosphere — as well as the benefits of an open bar. Over the course of the evening, I managed to drink 257 Stella Artois beers, six flutes of champagne, three vodka tonics and all the gasoline I could siphon out of cars in the parking lot.
I was lit.
And then the cougar appeared.
I was standing on the balcony outside the third-floor Curtis Ballroom, contemplating that glorious Denver Tech Center skyline, when a dark-haired, buxom she-vixen approached and asked me for a light. Suavely, I lit her cigarette, and like that, it was on. I don't claim to be any sort of Casanova, but Suburba-Cougar was digging my shit. If I had to guess, I would say she was high thirties, early forties, but homegirl was smoking, with a detached, glazed-over look that can only be obtained through many failed relationships and Jacuzzis full of Zinfandel. We talked about everything and nothing for about fifteen minutes, and then the cougar sneak-attacked, planting one right on my lips. Gadzooks! I knew there would be suburban honeys at this new club, but I wasn't expecting anything like this!
"Your beard tickles," she said.
"Oh, that's my Obama beard," I explained. "I'm not shaving until the man is elected. So I'm either going to have it for another month, or another month and four years."
She looked at me blankly.
"Oh, don't tell me you support John McCain," I said.
She did. So for the next several minutes, I assaulted her with questions about McCain, making her defend her case and shooting her down on every point. In addition to not being a hero, I'm not a seasoned politico, but I've been glued to this election in a way that borders on hysterical, and I was far better equipped to debate than this vapid cougar in the DTC night. Bitch actually had the audacity to tell me that she really liked the fact that a woman had made it as far as Sarah Palin had and that, as a woman, she felt a duty to help get another woman in the White House.
"Sarah Palin is the person you want representing womanhood?" I almost screamed. "You want the first woman in the White House to be someone who would take away a woman's right to choose? I would be offended if I was a woman. Fuck, I'm not a woman and I'm offended."
The cougar could sense she was losing me — but she was also losing herself to the sauce, and realized she didn't have enough fight left in her to find another victim. It was all or nothing, and so the cougar struck.
"You know what's great, though?" she slurred at me in the type of line that no one actually ever says in real life and yet I was somehow hearing. "Just because you're voting for Obama and I'm voting for John McCain doesn't mean we can't go home and have sex right now."
I looked at her, stunned. I'd never been propositioned so blatantly. I collected my thoughts.
"Actually," I said. "That's exactly what it means."
As I walked back inside, I turned to take one last look at the cougar. Her mouth was open in disbelief, wide as the vast chasm that existed and will always exist between us.
"Vote Obama," I said.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
“Foux Da Fa Fa” Translation:
I would like a croissant
I am delighted.
Where is the library?
Here’s my passport.
Ah, Gerard Depardieu.
A baguette! [laughs]
A baguette! [laughs]
[Chorus] *Note: “foux da fa fa”, as far as I can tell as a fluent French speaker, is a nonsensical French-sounding phrase.
And now the trip to the supermarket.
Soup of the day
Hello my small foreign currency exchange office.
How are you doing?
I’m doing okay.
How are you doing?
I’m doing okay.
Voilà! A conversation in the park!
Where is the book?
At the library.
And the dance music?
At the dance club.
And the dance clubs?
It’s here, baby!
One, two, one, two, three, four!
Where is the swimming pool?
Where is the swimming pool?
Splish splosh ["frenchified" splashing noises]
Uh…Eh…I don’t understand.
Do you speak the French?
Do you speak the French?
Uh … no.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
It was all to promote the new season of "Pushing Daisies". I've never seen the show, but I hear it's very funny (mostly from my dad). Anyways, my friend Jesse who works with me calls my desk, and said "There's free pie! They're giving it away! Thought you'd want to know!"
Turns out, I DID want to know. So I ran on upstairs, grabbed another co-worker on my way (I didn't want to look like a greedy pie monster), and went around the corner where they were -- as rumors told -- giving away free pie.
Little mini personal-sized pies in cherry, peach, or apple.
I got peach, and I couldn't have been more pleased.
Yay for free pie!
Friday, September 5, 2008
Anyways, we had a delicious breakfast, and shared a pineapple upside-down cake pancake, and YES it was as yummy as you're imagining it right now.
It was great having Phil in town, and I will look forward to seeing him again soon. He's a pretty rad dude if you haven't had the pleasure of meetin' him!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Well, I got busy with stuff. Yes, too busy for my blog. Blasphemy!
So as a consolation prize, I'm posting a picture of a werewolf. I know you were totally hoping for something AWESOME like that!! Anyways, the story behind it is that I went to the Taste of Colorado festival thingy at Civic Center Park in downtown Denver on Labor Day with Ryan Garvey and my new roller-derbying friend Nikki. We stopped at a booth of an artist that does these really creepy drawings & paintings of all kinds of things. Some of our favorites were his weird depictions of Sesame Street characters (kinda strange, yet awesome). This sketch caught my eye, of course I couldn't begin to understand why. (Insert obvious sarcasm here). I do heart those werewolves (and vampires of course). When I saw that it was only $10 with the frame included, I began giggling like a schoolgirl --- slapped down my plastic money, and gleefully stuffed the artwork into my Dickies heart-tote.
Don't know where I'm going to hang it yet, but I sure do love it!
Saturday, August 16, 2008
1/3 cup fresh lime juice
1/2 cup olive oil
1 clove garlic, minced
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
2 (15 ounce) cans black beans, rinsed and drained
1 1/2 cups frozen corn kernels
1 avocado - peeled, pitted and diced
1 red bell pepper, chopped
2 tomatoes, chopped (I like to use cherry tomatoes 'cause they're sweeter)
6 green onions, thinly sliced
1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro (optional)
Place lime juice, olive oil, garlic, salt, and cayenne pepper in a small jar. Cover with lid, and shake until ingredients are well mixed.
In a salad bowl, combine beans, corn, avocado, bell pepper, tomatoes, green onions, and cilantro. Shake lime dressing, and pour it over the salad. Stir salad to coat vegetables and beans with dressing, and serve.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
I credit Brian Grimes for introducing me to this amazing band. We saw them at the Hi-Dive last night, and it was the best show I've seen in YEARS! Seriously, they blew me away. This guy sings with so much passion and energy -- it's awesome to find music like this in a world full of Jonas Brothers (insert gagging sounds here). Please watch the video & enjoy! Their new album is in stores, and every song they played last night was amazing. I'm completely hooked!!! :)
Thursday, August 7, 2008
It's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Almost better than greek frozen yogurt. Pandora is a free online music site where you can create your own radio stations without having to listen to any stupid commercials. You just put in a band you like, and it plays other bands with a similar style! Move over Tivo!! AND, you can rate the songs (thumbs up or down) to keep on customizing your station as you please. It's utterly brilliant, and I love it.
You can even get it on your iPhone too... if you're one of THOSE people. ;) (I saw a 16-year-old kid with one on the lightrail train today. I don't think I even need to state how I feel about that....)
Anyhew, check out Pandora (if you haven't already). OK - it's tied for first with the frozen yogurt now.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
I really hope it gives me enough motivation to say "No thanks, I'm not going to have that 3rd deliciously-delicious beer, I'm going to get up early and run 3 miles in the morning". 'Cause that would rock. I'm gonna give myself some slack on the weekends (It's still summer, dang it!) -- but I have to stick to it this time. So if you talk to me and ask what I'm doing tonight / tomorrow / this weekend, please tack on to my answer "And does that include any running or biking, Beth?" Maybe it'll at least guilt me into doing it. ;)
Monday, August 4, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
As promised, here is the video of me rockin' OUT Pat Benatar-style in Atlanta for Live Band Karaoke. It was so much fun, I almost peed. I couldn't hear myself singing at all (it was pretty noisy, and they didn't have a speaker set up to hear anything back), so I just belted it all out. Check out the kudos at the end from the announcer dude too. A tad embarrasing, yet also hilarious. ;) Big thanks to Jake Sharon for his editing expertise on the video! Here's a link to his website, as he's a comedian as well as a talented video editor: http://jakeisfantastic.com/
Friday, July 25, 2008
So GO TEAM EVIL TWIN! You guys rock my socks off. Yeee hawww!!! :)
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Makes 8 servings.
3 cups pineapple juice
In a pitcher, combine the juice, wine, brandy, pineapple, and soda with ice and stir. Pour into large wineglasses and garnish with the mint and orange.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I used the regular chocolate-chip cookie recipe (on the back of a bag of chips), but instead of making plain Chocolate Chip, I added 1/2 bag of chocolate chips, 1/2 bag of butterscotch chips, and about 1 cup of unsweetened all-natural coconut shreds (from whole foods). The result was a delicious mix of sweet & tangy! So enjoy!
Also I think I realized the magical key to full and gorgeous cookies. Only SOFTEN the butter before adding it to the recipe, DO NOT MELT! I microwaved the butter last time to soften it, and went a little overboard. In order to not waste it, I used it anyways, and the cookies went as flat as Claire Daine's chest. Anyhew -- just remember that. I usually just measure from the tub of vegan butter spread, and it seems to work just fine straight from there, since it's already softer than a stick.
Make sense everyone? This will all be on the quiz next week.
Except for the part about Claire Daines. Only because that was WAY outta line. Natural boobies are the best! Way to not get the fakies, Claire. I commend thee. :)
Monday, July 21, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
We were gearing up for our first big win, with hope sparkling in our eyes -- which every member of the team smeared eye black underneath for good luck. Boy, did we look intimidating!
The game was a close one -- we were in the lead for a while. But the Step Childs ended up taking over in the end, and winning the game. So sad! But I'm still hopeful.
We definitely made some awesome plays though --- such as Wade's ground ball to first that turned into a home run hit due to numerous ball fumbles! And Geneva & Katy's kick-ass double play -- Katy on first getting that out, then throwing to Geneva as catcher where she practically tackled Kara at home base getting another out! It was so exciting. I even caught an in field line drive, which I quickly celebrated with a victory booty shake.
A couple of injuries this time as well.... Kara made a great dive to block a ground ball, but it decided to pop up at the last minute and bitch slap her right in the face! She's OK though -- just a swollen lip and a little bit of blood. Of course the next inning she was tackled by Geneva at home (see "awesome play" above) -- but that's what playing hard is all about! I got a good raspberry of a skinned knee too while sliding into 3rd. Apparently it wasn't necissary though, since nobody was even throwing the ball that way to tag me out! But hot damn, did it look good. I ruined my favorite pair of workout pants in the process, but again... playing hard!
So that's the lovely little synopsis of my softball game from last night. It was quite a game, lots of fun, and a little painful (for some) -- but a blast nonetheless.
Wish us luck for our first big win next Thursday!! :)
Thursday, July 17, 2008
What's in your freezer these days? If Lean Pockets make the list of frozen goods in your house, listen up. Nestle recently announced a recall of 200,000 lbs of frozen chicken that might have been used in the convenience food, which is sold in stores across North America. The recalls applies specifically to Spinach Artichoke Chicken Lean Pockets--they come in boxes of two pockets--with a best before date of November 2009, package code of 8144 544616 and establishment number of 8144 544616. It's believed that the perps hit stores around May 23rd.
The recall was initiated after two complaints were registered about the product to the USDA. It's believed that the chicken may contain bits of plastic.
Anyhoodle, last night we were thrilled -- our childhood nostalgia could come out & play while we watched one of Jim Henson's great muppet creations combined with the magic of David Bowie's music (and hair). Unfortunately after the movie started rolling, and the cheers began to subside over the awesome power of Bowie's presence -- we realized that the dialogue was a little difficult to decipher. My friend (who had never seen the film) leaned over to me at one point and said "I have no idea what the heck is going on!". I felt so sad for him because although I know the movie by heart, many moviegoers were having trouble enjoying it because the sound guy all thought we had super hero-like heightened hearing abilities, and could hear all the gentle mumblings from a 1/2 mile away.
What made things worse, was that somehow we ended up smack-dab in the middle of dirty hippie mayhem. A huge row of them decided to plop their hand-made organic unwashed hemp blankets behind us, and make our lives a living hell. Drunken shouting at their friends, stepping over us barefoot numerous times to use the bathroom, spilling beers, and pot smell loomed in all its glory. One especially drunken young man in their group (I would like to call him "pony tail visor wearing dude") decided to cozy up to our poor friend Tina and have a chat. Although I don't know what was said, I can only assume it wasn't one of the most intelligent conversations she's been a part of.
Twenty minutes before the movie ended, a few of us got fed up and left -- therefore missing all the traffic and ending our dirty hippie experience. However, Tina sent me an email today that made me wish I would have stayed a little longer. I guess Pony Tail Visor Wearing Dude was getting a mad stare-down by a girl very upset and annoyed by his rude drunken behavior. Apparently she was so bothered, that she eventually went and gave him a good slap across the face! I guess the rest of the crowd was just as bothered by him, because they all began to cheer, and he walked off to wallow in humiliation.
I can only hope now that he's realized that wearing a pony tail and a visor, getting wasted, then shouting at people isn't the way to win a girl's affections. Or anyone else's affections for that matter!
The End! :)
Monday, July 14, 2008
- The Flip Cup Tournament (see pic at right)
- Numerous outdoor lunches at Illegal Petes & Wahoo's Fish Tacos
- Softball league (Team Davis' Evil Twin! I can't wait until the day we win a game)
- Volleyball in Wash Park
- The ZOO
- Camping (various locations, drunken debauchery, bug bites, sunburns, sparklers, random hilarity, etc)
- Film on the Rocks
- Girl's nights on the town
- Happy Hours
- NYC / Atlanta trips
- 5k Races & Duathlon Training
So yah, it's been a really great time. I know it sounds kinda weird, but I'm sort of hoping it starts going by just a smidgen faster. OK -- before you get on my case, it's not because I WANT there to be less summertime for any reason! But the sooner October rolls around, the more money I'll have saved up (hopefully) and the sooner I'll be able to get into my own apartment again. My parents have been so wonderful about my whole "staying with them" for the past year and a half, and I'm definitely not looking forward to paying for my own groceries again. ;) But I'm ready to get my own place, and move on to that next phase of my life!
So summertime -- it's not that I don't love ya. We've had so many good times as it is. But I'm looking forward to moving on to my new relationship with the Fall. It's not you, it's me!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
- Bessie Stanley as published in the Lincoln Sentinel on Nov. 30, 1905.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
I'm back from Atlanta!
On the far left is me & Phil getting ready for a night on the town. We were on our way to meet up with his friends Kaveh & Homa at a Brazilian restaurant for deeeelicious tapas! The flowers to the right were ALL over the place around the city -- in bright fuschia and red -- they were so lovely I had to snap a picture.
The bottom pic is of me singing "Heartbreaker" by Pat Benatar at LIVE BAND KARAOKE! Yes, you heard that right, folks. They had a live band play all night, where you could pay a mere 5 bucks to sing your favorite rock song. I channelled the power of Benatar and had an awesome time. Phil is now officially my biggest fan. I told him I'd get him a backstage pass when I play at Madison Square Garden. And just in case you're wondering -- I'll have the video up soon. Just 'cause I love ya. ;)To the right (purple pics) are just me & Phil stuff. The first one was right before I rocked out onstage karaoke-style (Phil says I look like Courtney Cox in that pic -- which is cool with me, 'cause she's hot stuff), and the 2nd one is right after a yummy breakfast at Bluebird. They had the greatest home made biscuits & veggie-gravy I've ever had. We got in to eat just before the sky opened up and started POURING down rain. There's an old graveyard across the street from the restaurant, and I told Phil if the rain kept up, we might be dining with the dead.
Below is a picture of the inside of Phil's fridge. I always said that he was the most organized and cleanest boy I knew. Here's the picture to prove it! If you look closely, you'll see that all the yogurt container's labels are facing forward.... :)
To the right of that, is the vegetarian omelet (complete with vegetarian sausage) breakfast that Phil cooked up for me. The coffee is Gevalia (I drank 3 cups... yowza) and in that wine glass is a Mimosa! Why the hell is this guy still single?? He must hide his culinary skills for only an elite few. Makes me feel all special & stuff.
All-in-all it was a great trip, and I'm so glad I went. Can't wait to hear how all of your weekends were spent! :)
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Chocolate-Chip Butterscotch Pecan Cookies
1/2 bag Chocolate Chips
1/2 bag Butterscotch Chips
1 cup chopped pecans
1 tablespoon cinnamon
(follow the directions on the back of the Chocolate Chip bag for regular cookies, then add all the other stuff above. Simple as that, and it sounds so fancy, eh?)
So enjoy! Remember, when you cook with love, it goes into your food. Makes it all the yummier. :)