Sunday, June 10, 2012

Thoughts on life / Thoughts on death

We made it to Oklahoma now, and John and I have been spending a lot of time with his family while we're here.  If I didn't mention it before, we're here because John's mom is dying of lung cancer, and she probably won't be with us much longer. 

I'm sure you already know this, but if you smoke - PLEASE QUIT NOW.  I don't care if you think it's hard, I don't care if you think you can't do it.  Do it for your family.  Do it for your friends.  Do it for your grandchildren.  Stop being so damn selfish, and GIVE IT UP.  You're not just hurting yourself.  You're hurting EVERYONE.

OK - whew - had to get that out.

Anyway, it's brought on a lot of interesting feelings and thoughts.  Thinking about death.  Life.  Fear.  Hope.  

I've had a lot of time to think about all of these things in the past few days, and it's been a lot of weight to carry.  It's good though - I don't think of it often, and I believe it's healthy to do so.  I think it will make me stronger in the end.  It's hard right now.  But what doesn't kill us...

Anyway, I think I'm rambling a bit. 

It's nice that there is so much family here for support.

We're getting along.  Together (thank goodness). 

Life is just so precious.  And so short.  I feel like we should do everything in our power to live it as fully, happily, selflessly, wholeheartedly and vibrantly as we possibly can. 

I feel very lucky to have as much love and support from friends and family that I do right now.  When we left in a whirlwind on Friday I was worried about all the things we'd left behind and how much that needed to be done when we were gone.  I was panicked.  My family said they would take care of things.  My friends said that they would drop everything to help.  They assured me that it would not be a burden, that their thoughts were with me and that they loved me (Katy, I'm looking at you).  My heart swelled with love and strength, and I feel so lucky. 

That's what life is about I guess.  Our relationships with each other and the happiness we can find there.  The comfort and love. 

I'll try to keep posting while I'm here, but I certainly don't want to be a Debbie Downer!  Just thinking about a lot of stuff at this point in time.  Unfortunately right now we have a lot of time to spend thinking about everything, and there are times when we find it hard to keep our minds occupied.  That makes me glad I have a blog!

Thank you all for your love and support.  All of you. 

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