I knew my weight was getting up on the higher end lately, but I didn't realize how much until recently...
... I had a very overdue doctor's appointment, which included a visit on the scale to get my weight. I cringed at the thought (I haven't gotten on a scale in probably a year), but stepped up, and waited for bad news.
It wasn't just bad news. It was the news that I've reached my highest weight so far in my 30-years of life. Yikes.
I've always been aware of health, and very into nutrition for healing, buying and supporting organic / local food companies, etc. I love fruits and vegetables - LOVE them - but I also love cheese, chocolate, pizza, ice cream... the list goes on & on.
I still jog 3x a week with Stacey, but that's just not enough considering I've probably been inhaling anywhere from 500-1,000 calories more per day than I should be!
I know that part of the reason is because I moved in with John. No, I don't blame him! But I think a lot of people hit this point in life when they move in with their significant other or get married. They kinda let themselves go a bit. I know I sure as hell did! I know John will love me no matter what, so why not have another helping of pasta? Why not stuff myself silly?
I'll tell you why.
I don't love myself right now. To be honest, I think it's been causing some problems in my life. Laziness, lack of motivation, stress, tiredness - they've all been around, and I know I've been ignoring them. I never minded a little bit of jiggle, but this has gone too far. I don't even like catching my reflection in the mirror when I'm getting dressed. I don't like this body.
And no, before you say anything, it's not just about getting thin. Yes, it would certainly be great to not have my jeans pinching, have my belts fit again, and to be able to snap my damn snowboarding pants shut. But it's more about being healthy and vibrant, and feeling good about myself. Feeling sexy and energetic and happy. That comes from within, and I don't like how I feel on the inside - and I think it's been showing on the outside.
The holidays make it really difficult to eat right, and normally I just give up around this time of year, and vow to get "back on track" with my new year's resolutions (as I'm sure most people do). But this year, I gotta start a little earlier. There's no damn way I'm turning down pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving, but I'm going to be more careful with my portions / second helpings / alcohol consumption. It's amazing how quickly it all comes on, and how long it takes to make it go away again...
Sigh. Have any of you out there reached this point? Have you ever fallen into bad habits due to a relationship change? Any thoughts or advice?