The big secret is that I had an interview with a company that would have been a HUGE step up for me career-wise. It would have been amazing, and working with the company would have been really exciting. I would have been working alongside some awesome women close to my own age, in a fun environment, working in a position I would have been crazy excited about getting up and doing every single day. The added bonus is I would be making twice the amount I'm making now salary-wise, PLUS benefits.
And I nailed the interview. I mean NAILED it. It was the best one I've had in a really long time.
But I didn't get the job.
I guess they were looking for someone with more experience in that company's field, and although they really liked me, they had to go another direction.
I couldn't have been more disappointed yesterday.
I cried. A lot.
I try not to get too excited about something with an unknown outcome. I tried really hard not to think of what I could do with this company. I tried not to think of the fact that I could have my debt paid off before the end of this year with my new salary. I tried not to start planning my new commute, or how I would decorate my new office. But in the back of my mind, I still did.
And now I have to move on. I feel like I've reached a crossroads in my life, and I have a choice to go one way or another. I don't have a lot of freedom right now because of my debt, and that pisses me off to no end. It limits my decisions, and makes me hate my debt even more. I guess that's a good thing because I'll keep working as hard as I possibly can to be free of it. But that doesn't change my feelings of being trapped right now.
Today is much better than yesterday. Tomorrow will be even better. I know I need to keep my chin up and just keep plugging away. I had my time to mope, and now it's time to brush myself off and get on with my life. After a glass of wine or 3, of course. ;)
Then this popped up in my Pinterest, and made me feel a lot better:
Well, I've already got most of that figured out. I just need to find out what will make me happy work-wise, and do that. It's simpler than I make it out to be, but that's really what matters in the end.
Just do what makes you happy.
I think I can do that.
:)
2 comments:
Hi Beth!
I have full confidence you'll find what you are looking for. I've known you for years. You're the kind of creative, resourceful person who always comes up with a solution.
Tao Te Ching says
"a lowly state is a boon.
Getting it is a pleasant surprise
and so is losing it!"
So, it's good to have challenges like this. After you find what you're looking for, you'll feel even better because you overcame them.
I am sorry that this opportunity didn't work out for you, but I very much admire your attitude about it! With optimism like that, you are sure to find what you are looking for!
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